Bossin' Up in 2017

Was 2016 as draining for you as it was for me? I was overwhelmed by people and my business because I let thing linger versus nipping them in the bud.

I am an expert at avoiding conflict. However doing so landed me in dead-end relationships. Exhibit 1: an awkward ass, draining decade-long friendship that should have ended after the first date. Exhibit 2: leading on a dude who wanted to cheat on his girl with me because I didn't know how to say "You're a creep who needs his balls cut off."

In 2016, life came to a head and I was an emotional wreck. I complained to my sister:  "It's 2016 why do dudes keep coming to me on trash? You have 'Mr. I Just Want to be Friends But Question and  Spend Time with You Like You are My Girl' and 'Mr. My Girl Won't Know.'"

My sister's reply: "You need to boss up. Tell people how you feel. Stop worrying about whether or not you hurt their feelings. Demand people respect you." She was absolutely right. My fear of being "the bad guy" turned my emotional life into a festering pool of What the F**k. I had to get over it and cut people off.

When Mr. My Girl Won't Know asked what time we were meeting for our secret rendezvous, I replied: "Sorry. I respect your girl's position too much. One day I want to be someone's girl and karma is a bitch."

And when Mr. I Just Want to be Friends text me, I replied: "I ended this draining toxic 'friendship.' Please respect my space." Both men were shocked at my boldness, but they respected it.

Now that I know the respect that comes with speaking up,  I am on a Boss Up Marathon. I made bolder moves on my job that bosses noticed and will make some boss moves on my blog. Stay tuned.

What boss moves have you made in 2017??

My Black Friday Finds

My Black Friday started of kind of rocky, but in the end I managed to scored some pretty cool items. All of which I needed in order to build my wardrobe. This year I was pretty practical.  How did I do???

Score #1  

These burgundy over the knee boots from Fashion to Figure. They were originally $65.00, but I scored them for $41. Burgundy is my favorite color, so I had to get them. 

Score #2

These camel colored flat over the knee boots, also from Fashion to Figure. They were originally $65, and I snagged them for $36. My sister has a pair and I have been eyeing them for the longest, but did want to pay full price. I'm cheap, I know!!! 

Score #3 Two Sweaters from BooHoo (one is actually a dress, but I plan to wear it as a sweater).  They were originally $30 and I got them for $15 each.

Score #5 

Two pay of heels from Fashion 2 Figure. I really needed a basic pair of closed in heels, and every woman should have a red shoes in closet (I did not so I had to change that) . Both were originally $47 and I purchased both for $16.50

Bonus #6 Jeffrey Campbell Lippies  

Lip Ammunition Unicorn Blood  - Originally $18 Sale $10.44

Velour Liquid Lipstick - Unicorn Blood - Originally $18 Sale $15.00

My September Favorites

It's that time again. The time where I round up all of my favorites for the month of August. This month I have 5 favorite beauty products that I am loving at the moment. These are the products I reached for everyday, and will definitely be repurchasing when they run out.

1. Mario Besdescu Control Moisturizer for Oily Skin:  Per the website "This is a lightweight, non-greasy moisturizer specially formulated for oily skin. Featured are two powerful humectants—Glycerin and Panthenol (Vitamin B5)—to deliver necessary hydration without clogging pores". And it did just that! It comes with a hefty price tag $18, but it is definitely worth it.

2. The Blotterazzi: I bought this blotter sponge due to a friends recommendation. It retails for $22 and it comes with 2 sponges. To me, this is an oily girls best friend. It comes in a plastic case which makes it easy for traveling. When you feel your face getting oily, just place the sponge on your face, and volia it's gone.

3. Lush's Black Angel: I use this every night, and if I miss a night my skin feels like it. The scrub leaves my skin feeling clean, moisturized and soft. It gentle, so it's safe to use once a day. I highly highly recommend this product if you struggle with clogged pores like me or enlarged pores. This product retails for $12

4. Forever 21 Maxi Dress: This dress retails for 24.00, and I definitely got my money's worth. I have been living in this coverup this spring. Everytime I have worn it, I received a ton of compliments. It breaks my heart knowing that I now have to retire it. (Insert tear)

5. Tart Lip Scrub:  Retails for 16.00 but a little goes a long way. Before I wear any Matte lipstick, I reach for this product. It leaves your lips feeling so smooth. I highly recommend this product. 

Let me know what are some of your September Favs

My Top 6 Halloween Costume Picks

Looking for some Halloween inspiration? Don't worry, I got you covered. Here are my top 6 picks to get you in the mood to shop for a cute costume. 

Here are my 3 picks for the people who love dressing up for Halloween:

1. A 1920's Flapper www.SpiritHalloween.com 59.00

2. Freddy Krueger www.SpiritHalloween.com 59.99

3. Adult Night Nurse www.SpiritHalloween.com 44.99

Here are 3 picks for the girls who loves Halloween but is not to fond of dressing up  

1. Ariel Fitted Mermaid dress from Torrid 59.90

 2. Suicide Squad Crop Jacket 79.00 from Torrid

3. Star Wars Dress $39 from Torrid  

Juvia's Place: To Purchase or Not to Purchase? That is The Question

I had been eyeing the Juvia's Place eyeshadow palettes for some time now, after being feed up with other eyeshadow brands that didn't work for my skin tone, and being blacked owned helped too. But, I heard so many negative reviews about this brand and their terrible customer service. I was hearing that shipping took forever, palettes were being received damaged, and their return policy was pretty much non-existence. 

 But, despite all of that I still took a risk. Hey, I was desperate, can you blame me? So, I placed my order, got my confirmation number, Two days later received my "Your Order has been Shipped" email, and about 3 days later my order was delivered. 

I held my breath as I was cutting away that packing tape and removing the peanuts that was surrounding my palette. I removed the palette from box and opened it (insert dun dun dun), and it was perfect!!!!!  ​

All in all my experience with Juvia's Place was wonderful, and the eyeshadow look and feel amazing. I have no complaints about this company. I will say this, as a cunsumer you have to do research before ordering from any company, but this company gets an A+ in my book.

Facing My Body Confidence Issues, One Garment At a Time.

Today I decided to go out into the world baring my midriff.

This is the second time I've done so and both times, I felt free. I shed a layer of insecurity every time I throw caution to the wind and show my midsection. I can't wait for the day I'm no longer anxious about wearing a crop top--when I don't think twice about it at all. One day I will just reach for it, put it on, and strut out the door. 

Do you have any special pieces that help you embrace fearlessness? Tell me about them in the comments.

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My July Favorites

This month I have 6 favorite beauty products that I am loving at the moment. These are the products I reached for everyday, and will definitely repurchase when they run out.

1. The Beauty Blender Sponge: where have you been all of my life? This sponge retails at 20.00, which is pretty expensive for a sponge, but it blends out your foundation and concealer so well. Had me thinking I was a pro lol.

Retails for 20.00 at Sephora

2.  Graniers Micellar Water: I have replaced my Makeup Remover wipes with this product. For about 6.99 you get 13.5 fl oz of product, and you only need a few little drops on a cotton pad. Glide the pad over your face and voila your makeup is gone. It doesn't leave my face feeling greasy like some makeup remover wipe can do. FYI this doesn't take the place of you washing your face.

Retails for 6.99 at Target

3. Black Radiance BB cream: This product for me has been my Holy Gail this summer. Recently I tried to switch products, but I kept coming back to this product. The reason being is because my skin hates makeup in the summer, if it even feels like make up is on my face I get sweaty, like my skin is preforming an exorcist.  But this product feels like I'm wearing nothing.  Now, I must tell you that my skin is oily, so I wouldn't recommend you purchase a bb cream unless it has some oil absorbing properties. I'm just letting you that if your skin is like mine, and you typically sweat a lot in the summer, and you don't mind blotting around the 5 hour mark, maybe you should look into a bb cream.

Retails for 4.73 at Walmart

4. Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray: Let us just have a moment of silence for the product....thank you. I have been trying to upgrade my makeup game, and with the help of a beauty expert aka co-worker who knows a ton about makeup, I recently made the switch from Elf's setting spray to this one, and it changed my life. Keeps my makeup in place all zamn day. Trust. Me. On. This. it will change your makeup game and your life. 

Retails for 33 / smaller size 14.00 at Sephora

5. Botanics Rosewater Toning Spritz: I use this spray at night after I cleanse my face. I give my face couple of pumps, let it dry and then apply my moisturizer. The next morning my skins feels nice and hydrated, and my makeup applies like a dream.

Retails at 8.39 at Target

5. Rimmel Stay Matte Primer: despite the negative reviews I have read, I personally love this stuff. Maybe it's because I switched from Cover Fx primer which was horrible, to this which is fairly better. Although I am still on the looking out for my "Holy Grail" primer (taking suggesting)  this primer helped my through some of the hotter months, so it gets my respect. 

Retails for 6.99 at Walgreens

If you liked this blog post and would like to see more of my monthly favs, be sure to like this post.

Trusting the Journey

When I began to blog about my journey of self-discovery and self-love, I did so with doubt. I doubted if anyone would listen to what I had to say. But I kept feeling this push from God, so I put my doubt aside and started. 

Well, here I am a year and a half later, and I cannot even put into words how much this journey has helped me. I started out by saying I am writing for me, and if anyone else reads it and gets something from it, great!!

What I didn't expect was the amount of new friends I would meet, and the amount of emails, texts and dms I would receive from women telling me how much my blog has helped them in their personal life. By me being so open and honest about my daily struggles with body and confidence issues, help others to face their own. 

My plan for the future is to continue living out loud and showing other women that the process of stripping off layers of self hate can be painful, but victorious. I hope the women that I have reached continue on their journey, and new women begin joining them.

 "I love all that I am, just as I am" - Unknown 

Rebel with a Cause

Dress by Forever 21 Plus

While on vacation in New Orleans a couple of weeks ago, I got a Tarot card reading. I agreed with the readers’ insights (I had two, because my life is complicated and both felt compelled to interpret my cards) until one went off script and gave me fashion advice.

"I think you are a very beautiful girl, but you shouldn't wear a dress with a busy print, it makes you look bigger." Normally, I would let this slide, but three minutes prior she told to “be more assertive,” "believe in myself," and "not be a door mat.” It was only right I put her advice to the test. I looked her in the eye and said "I appreciate the advice, but I wear what I like. Not what ‘people’ think is acceptable." She respected that. I continued, "I'm big and everybody out here knows it. There’s nothing wrong with appearing bigger. My fashion motto is ‘just do it’.” 

How's that for being assertive and being not being a doormat?

I walked away proud of my busy dress, because it goes against society. I decided to wear it in spite of the “big girl fashion rules.” I felt like a rebel.

I enjoyed my Tarot readings, so I’m not bashing the reader. On your journey to self-discovery and self-love, you’ll come up against society’s ideas about how you dress and look. Everyone won’t love the bolder, more empowered you, but don’t let their doubts derail you. As long as you are not killing or hurting yourself, you right girl!!!

Until next time, wear whatever makes you feel good.

A Conversation about my Breast

A few weeks ago I attended the Flying Farms Annual Charity event hosted by Abercrombie and Fitch in Columbus.

Towards the end of the event, after the drinks started to flow, the food had been served, I found myself alone at a table watching the live band play. I was approached by a woman, and before I knew it we were engaged in a very deep conversation about my breast.

Ok, now I know what you are thinking, but it was nothing like that. Turns out she is Patty Beigal the Senior VP of the International Division of Victoria Secret. See, totally legit!

The topic of my breast came up in the conversation after she asked me if I shopped at Victoria Secret and my response was "Nope!". She asked "why?".

Now this is where all of you popped into my mind, and I had to speak on behalf of you. So, I cleared my throat and voiced my opinion, and I'm assuming some of yours as well. I told her when its time for me to go bra shopping I tend to go to the first place that pop into my head: Torrid, Lane Bryant, and a Department store. I do not bother with looking in Victoria Secrets, because your stores does not cater to plus size women. I don't know why, its seems like you would want to cater to that market, you know because of the whole plus size movement.

Patty's response to me was, and I am paraphrasing here "we do cater to the plus size women, you might not know that, but we do. We are trying our best to pull in those plus size shoppers. We even offer free bras to mothers on Mother's Day."

Because I do not shop at Victoria Secrets. I had to go home and do a little more research. I dug deep, and by digging deep I mean I pulled up their website and search under "Bras"lol.

Here are my findings, the largest bra that Victoria Secret offers is a 38 DDD. Yes, this is considered plus size, but what about me? The 44 DDD girls! We plus size girls would like to look sexy. We plus girls want to go skipping done the mall corridor swinging our pink Victoria Secrets bags. Please try harder to cater to us.

I don't know what made her wander over to my table, but hopelly my voice was heard, and later she will wander across this post, and take notice. Hopefully this doesn't just fall on deaf ears. So maybe one day in the near future I will be sitting at a table alone, and sale rep from Victoria Secrets wonders up to my table. And when asked the question "Do you shop at Victoria Secrets?" My answer will be "Why yes I do!"

Can I Get a Two Piece Please???

My love for a two piece set has not wavered. They're so versatile and easy to wear, and when I shop thats what I am looking for. My life is complicated enough (I'll save that for another post lol), so my waredrobe cannot further complicate my life.  This particular piece can make at least 2 more outfits. Again, your waredrobe will thank me.

Side note: Don't count out stores that only offer straight sizes. This particular set is from New York and Company, a store I had wrote off, because I am plus size. NY&co goes up to a XL, and I'm typically a 2x-3x. but, lately I have been found some nice pieces, because alot of their pieces offer stretch, and in the plus size world stretch i bea lol.

What's Your Fresh?? Featuring DeShawn A.

Style Spotlight: Deshawn

Occupation: TV Director 

Location: Palm Springs, CA

The Undercover Fashionista: So DeShawn, what kind of fit makes you feel good?

Deshawn: Comfort makes me feel good..When I am able to turn comfortable clothes into a fashion paradise, I won. 

The Undercover Fashionista: describe your perfect outfit 

Deshawn: Nice fresh fedora, a pair of distressed jeans, white v-neck, and some exclusive vans.

The Undercover Fashionista: Oh I see you, true Cali Style, I like. Well I'll let you take it from here, and describe to our readers what you are wearing in the pictures below, where you wore them to to and motivation behind your choices

Whats sup everybody.. This 1st look I was inspired by the city of Miami.. White, slim pants from HandM with a mint button-down.. And i went sock less to really get that Miami vibe type feel with the tan loafers made by Stacee Adams..

This was a rushed birthday pic of mine.. Slim faded washed blue jeans.. And strawberry denim blazer and some very unique Jeremy Scott Adidas. And to top off this fit was my favorite blue berry fedora hat... With a simple white v-neck tee.. I went for the 'its my birthday, I can dress myself if I wanna'  look.

Went to a wedding. They said you don't suppose to out dress the bride and groom... Welp.. Mybad lol...  Royal blue Chino pants with a checkered button down and the blue berry fedora again making the outfit swaggerific... Shoes was peanut butter loafers..

Christmas party 2014 2 years ago.. The infamous blazer... Its a Paisley, turquoise and brown blazer.. My aunt got it for me for a birthday gift... SWAGGIN! white distressed jeans and brown dress shoes.. Enough SAID LOL

Well there you go guys, Deshawn, one of the flyest guys I know explaining his "Fresh" - Simple, Grown, and Sleek.

Stay tune for next months style spotlight.

Who The Eff Are You To Tell Me......

Ashley Graham on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

 "I would have sex with her, but I would never date her."

"That’s great, but if you are plus-sized, maybe you should stay in your lane."  

Those were just a few comments I heard from men after Ashley Graham's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover was released.

Listening made me wonder. "Is this how men feel about me? Am I not dateable? Am I wrong for showing women it’s okay to go against what society deems acceptable? Should I just stay in my lane?"

My response? "Get the fuck out of here with that self-doubt bullshit. You are on the right track. Those comments are why you are on this path--you are showing women how to feel beautiful and not internalize others’ opinions of their bodies."

So let’s break down some of the comments I mentioned above."I wouldn't date her.” Men have a weird way of thinking they're always the choosers; saying “I wouldn’t date her” as if she’d actually consider dating them. Men assume plus-sized women are desperate. Not the case.

"She should stay in her lane.” She was doing so good in "her lane" that Sports Illustrated asked her to cross into their lane. Because someone is plus-sized, they shouldn’t want to be seen as sexy? I’ll wait.

This week has shown me how much I have grown. The old me would have wrestled with everyone else’s thoughts for weeks and used them as an excuse to doubt myself. New me took in what was said and after realizing I didn’t agree, dismissed it. That’s definitely growth. I'll take it.

Are you having a hard time overcoming others’ opinions? How do you deal with it?

What are your effing thoughts on this topic???

Valentine's Day Look #2

I love this dress, and I had some much fun wearing this dress around town yesterday. Even though this dress is so simple, it made me feel so womanly. I don't know if it was the red paired with leopard print wedges, the way it hugged my body, the slits in up the side, or the fact that it was sexy without being overly sexy - may be it was all four reasons.

This Valentine's look has a modest neck and hem line, which makes this look perfect for the women who don't like to show much skin.

Styling tip: not pictured, but I paired this dress with a black leather jacket with gold details. Also, this dress could be paired with a blazer or trench coat.

Dress: Boohoo.com  

Heels: Journey's  

Valentine's Day Look #1 (deleted)

Roses are red, violets are blue, I typically hate pink, but with a touch of leather it will do.

I am dedicating this post to the edgy girly girls, who are currently looking for a dress to wear on Valentine's Day.

I purchased this dress from Charlotte Russe and paired it with a pink leather jacket from Torrid to edge it out a bit.

Let me know what your thoughts are, is this something you would wear?

What's Your Fresh Robyn Louis from the Blog The Skinny Black Girl??

My Style: Robyn Louis of theskinnyblackgirl.com

I was five years old when En Vogue dropped the video to their debut single, “Hold On” and shaped what would become my adult style. Womanhood was a little black dress, black pumps, and a bold red lip. I couldn’t wait to grow up.

At thirty-two, I still aim for En Vogue when dressing for a night out. Little Black Dress. Black pumps. Red lips. Other influences have crept in over the years that inform my day-to-day style: Toni Braxton’s short hair (which I made my signature cut this year); the French approach to building on basics (black, white, navy, grey, stripes, the occasional “pop” of color); and a hint of tomboy (I live for a white T-shirt and a good pair of Nikes).

One of my mantras is “I hate stuff.” Clutter drives me insane; as does having too many options. I started researching minimalism two years ago and was fascinated with the idea of a wardrobe I wouldn’t have to think about. I worried initially about looking “plain” or “boring,” but I realized I have a pretty big personality and adopting a simple, signature look allows that personality to shine through. While my clothes are pretty basic, I play around with textured and patterned stockings and tights. I also love the occasional ruby red or cobalt blue dress when I want to turn heads.

My go-to outfit? I’m a fan of the blazer, white T-shirt, and leggings combination.

My dream piece? A white cashmere winter coat. 

Robyn Louis is a thirtysomething blogger hailing from Cleveland, Ohio. An MFA dropout, writer by calling and a wise ass by craft, she posts her tales, interests, and observations on her award-winning personal blog, The Skinny Black Girl.

My Thighs Thank Lane Bryant

It was the summer of 1994 and all I wanted to do was watch Pretty Woman, starring Julia Roberts, over and over. And I did.

Obsessed over the opening scene where Vivian is getting dressed (Yes, the scene were she is zipping up her patent leather thigh high boots) I remember thinking those boots are so were sexy, and I had to get a pair when I grew up.

Fast forward to me as an adult, blessed with thick calves and thighs, this task was quite difficult. Until I stumbled across these Lane Bryant wide leg thigh high boots on Naturally Fashionable's blog page. I ordered them and they fit perfectly.

So readers, if you are like myself and your legs are wider than most, I encourage you to check these boots on Lane Bryant's website. And to Lane Bryant, thanks for allowing me a chance to live out my Pretty Woman fantasy. 

The Great Wardrobe Escape

Every now and then I will purchase a retro- style dress, like the one featured here, just so I can imagine myself in that particular decade.  

Where has my imagination taken me today in this 50's inspired dress from Charlotte Russe? Well today, I am standing on a platform at a smoked filled train station passionately kissing my guy as we say our tearful goodbyes, because his draft card was pulled and he's off to war.

The world can be so upsetting at times, and one can become overwhelmed with their day to day routine. So, I say mentally escape, slip on an outfit and become someone that you always wanted to be. But here's the catch, you have to come back. I promise you'll have fun.

Until next time, stay fly.

More Bang for Your Buck!!!

I am typically a dress, romper and jumper type of girl, but recently I tried my hand at purchasing two piece outfits, and I must say,"I officially love them!!!!"

Now don't get me wrong, I will always love my one piece outfits due to their convenience. However, separate pieces have given me what my wardrobe needs and that is options.

By buying pieces that can be mixed and matched, it allows you to stretch the items in your wardrobe a little further. Take, for instance, this Ava and Viv two pieces set plus this tee shirt I bought from Target; these 3 separate pieces allowed me to create 6 different outfit options by pairingthem with items I already own.

So, next time when you are in a shopping mood I encourage you to avoid the one pieces for now, and reach for those separates.  I promise your closet and wallet will thank you, mine sure did!!!!!!

Check out how I paired these items and until next time stay fly.

Charlotte Russe Lookbook

If you are anything like me, you love a good sale. Recently I was on Charlotte Russe's website, and stubbled across their Labor Day sale. All dresses were marked down to 20 dollars, and of course I had to pick me up a few.

The first dress I picked up was this flirty pink lace dress with flower details. I am in love with this dress, as you can probably tell from the pictures below. This dress is perfect for a date night with that special someone or a night out with your girls. 

The second dress I purchased was this brown and gold one. I know I will get a lot of wear out of all of these dresses, but I feel like this dress will be in heavy rotation. 

The third dress has actually already been worn. I wore this dress to a recent picnic and it was so comfortable, and it hid the bloat us ladies get after eating.

Last, but certainly not least is this lace dress I purchased. Although this isn't my favorite dress, it is still a much needed piece in my wardrobe. If ever I get a chance to take a vacation, I will definetly be sure to pack this dress in my suitcase. 

**excuse the wrinkles in a few of the dresses - I was trying to get pictures of the dresses, and a post up before the dresses were sold out - I will do better next time.**